Chapter 4: The Letter

7th February 2000

After the happenings of the previous events, I had half a mind of sending her another note.
One night me and my friend Bishal Gurung, were alone in my room and I had the craziest idea. I thought of writing a letter! So I started writing one. I completed it and it actually was kinda good. My friend thought I should give it to her. But I had a better idea…
Anyway, first the letter. This is the original..

Dearest,
A letter like this and I kind of have an idea what you may be thinking. But no, this is not a love letter. This may sound ridiculous, but I’m not a person who runs after girls or flirts with them till they drop dead. I just want some friends from the opposite sex.
I mean, I kinda’ miss the friends I have at home, most of the girls there I mean. Because in my +2 class, there used to be only three boys and twenty four girls. We spent 24-7 together so I guess that makes me miss them a lot. Plus I have a feeling that hanging around with boys for the rest of the year or maybe 6 years time may “gay me out”.
So please, just friends? Mujse dhosti karoge?

Anyway, what I did was I wrote 2 letters, gave one to her and the other to the second girl. See ya :p

Parasites...

Normally, in the world of Medicine, in simple terms a parasite is an organism which requires a host to survive as it obtains food and shelter from the host. The host is harmed while the parasite survives. Until now, I thought as parasites as organisms that existed only in the medical world. But, if you take a closer look at our existence, you’ll be surprised to find parasites among Homo Sapiens too.

I’ve spend nearly one tenth of a decade in a place far away from home, with friends and no family. I’ve met so many different people in this short period of time and I’ve got to say that there is one particular disease the Human parasites love enhancing; Mental Poisoning or Emotional Blackmail.

Nobody can survive very long only on food and water without companionship. Somehow or another, a person must find away to interact with another to feel as part of the same existence. When we meet people who share a common interest, we call them friends. We share each others happiness and sorrows together eventually leading to a good relationship built up on the foundation of trust.

After trusting a person, we open up a bit, crawl out of that shell we’ve been hiding in for so long. We taste the sweet smell of a whole new world and we become free fliers. We expand our borders of freedom and start dominating our lives and that’s when the true personality of a person shines. We start discovering ourselves as we slowly discover the nature of the people around us.

Now let me tell you how to identify a human parasite. The human parasites have three major characteristic features. One, they are your friends. Two, they’ve got a huge Ego problem and three, they love backbiting.

If you tell them that they're making a mistake or doing something wrong, they'll tell you that they’re always right and you’re the one who’s wrong. If by chance you become closer to one of their friends than them, they’ll tell you not to get in between them and friends. If you tell them a secret, they remember to spread it out as soon as you’re out of ear shot. If you tell them not to commit crime, they’ll tell you that you’re not their father to order them around.

If they're“high” and you tell them something, the next day they’ll come and say you tried to shoot us down while we were flying high. If they're enjoying with their friends with you alongside and when you’re invited by their friends to join in the fun, they’ll say he’s not one of us, leave him out. When you’re not around they love polishing your name with mud and making you look like a low life. When they want something, they’ll come to you and say that you’re the best, when they get what they want, you’re just one of those “other” people around. When you ask why, they just say you’re different and they only hang out with people like them!

I haven’t discovered any particular cure for this, but there was a saying in one of the Community Medicine books I read, “Prevention is better than cure”.
So, I guess it’s not important to put all your trust in your friends, sometimes learn to use your enemies too.

Chapter 3: Luck and Notes

3rd February 2000

Finally they caught me and dumped me into the Freshers, I was supposed to be the slave master…It was a horrible day for me as I was woken up by the seniors to hit the stage at 10 in the morning without any breakfast. I was in the back stage dressing up (it didn't look like a slave masters clothes, more like a girls bathing suit) when I saw the nervous faces of my batch mates lining up. I was ready to tease them with the huge stick like thing I had and was about to go when my eyes caught a glimpse of her. Wearing typical Nepali clothes she looked…

I was spellbound by her very sight. The senior said that all I had to do was escort them to the stage. I was thinking that this was my lucky day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the host of the show appeared. "You there" pointing at me she said, "You'll escort the boys!" My face shattered like glass. It felt like a stupid little black cloud was hovering above my head, shooting thunder bolts with heavy rain. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez…why me and why now!

The show was amazing any how. I did as I was told and I got the chance to watch her dance. Not, the whole thing but just glimpses. It wasn't so bad I guess. Anyway at the end of the show I was just changing in the changing room with a howling stomach when all of a sudden the door opened and there she stood! A sweat drop clinging on the back of my forehead, I was only in my half pants and body naked. She just stared and I stared back. "Sorry" she blurted out and went away and I collapsed on the chair behind me with a sigh. I guess it was my lucky day after all.

This morning in class, I wrote a note to her. It said,
"Congrats on becoming Ms. Freshers 2000. I passed a note 'cause I didn't want to create a scene."

= Maldives =

(Nazim)

I expected an immediate reply, but instead she passed the note around and a lot of heads turned in my direction. I was kinda' embarrassed. But as usual, my split personality was greater.
I was feeling down when the thought occurred to me that she might just ignore it. I mean who was I right? A complete stranger…

After class I was having lunch and one of the guys came with a note. He was smiling. I opened it and it said…
Thank you….. = _ _ _ _ _=

Chapter two: Facts and reasons

31st January 2000

It’s funny how it actually started. I mean I never looked at any girl in class seriously. One fine morning, I just walked into class and she smiled at me. That’s how I noticed the first girl in the first bench. To tell you the truth, I’m straight and I’m not gay. But still, even though the fact remained, I had no interest in getting myself hooked up with girl for time pass; typically, it means I’m not a jerk! I had no intention of falling into a deep whole from where I couldn’t pick myself up or something, ‘cause I’ve been there and done that.

It was just after lunch again, me and Bishal were returning to class and Bishal took a detour to the boys “common room” and I made my way to class. There she was again, looking at me and smiling again. There definitely was eye contact and people say that eye contact means something. Yet I took it lightly, I think I smiled back but passed the day as usual. I’m sure nothing had happened ‘cause, I heard no violins and I saw no rainbows.

Later, while we were walking back to the hostel, I confessed this to Bishal and he said to me that girls smiled at you for two reasons, 1. They like you (in a friendly way), 2. They’re teasing you. For a moment I pondered on the facts and imagined myself, a big walrus with pot-belly and thin limbs, yea right! She was probably teasing me. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I may be a bit bulky (5’8” and 96 Kilos), still I don’t fail to cast my charm on the opposite sex and look sexy!

Well, the practices for “Freshers” have begun as well. It’s actually a mass ragging type of thing where all the juniors will be on stage and you’ll perform and you’ll be rated and if you fail to catch the bar, you’ll be ragged by all the seniors there. Imagine the horror! Well, to tell you the truth, I can’t ‘cause I’m not part of it. Catch ya laiters amigo. Night..

Someone to lean on....

Walking on a moonless night
Everyone has someone to lean on
Silently searching for a ray of light
Alone I didn’t want to go on

As the loneliness surrounds me
A tear drop clings on to my lashes
I smile for myself as I hear it plea
Don’t let me fall into the ashes

Head down, I slowly turn around
Even my shadow seems to have left me
I wanted to cry, but couldn’t make a sound
Why me lord, why me

Friends they say they are
So I hold on to them all the time
I wish I had something fun to share
So that at least I too would feel fine

In their own world they fly on
And here I am in my own little world
Waiting for someone to break the wall
So that I too find someone to lean on…

A doctors secret life...

Chapter one: The book with no name

Cold wind struck my face as I took my first few steps towards the hospital. A Punjabi guy came trotting along to greet me and lead me to one of those hospital cabins as the hostel was full at the moment. I opened the door to my new room and switched on the lights. The guy put my luggage in and left. I stood there for a while and stared at the total emptiness. “So, this is it…” I thought to myself. Tears stung my eyes as I realized that this was the place I was going to spend six whole years of my life, alone, away from family and friends. I slowly unpacked, changed and crawled under the blankets and tried to sleep. Sweet but now painful memories of home rocked me away into a dreamland of nothingness.

The very next morning, I woke up early, got dressed and sat on my bed hoping that someone would bring me breakfast. I mean that’s how they should treat a new student right. I waited and waited, but no one came. After two hours of waiting, I thought to myself, mom isn’t here anymore…time to pick myself up and welcome a new life in a new place. I stood up, locked my room and started searching for food like a stray dog.

I managed to walk out the hospital and found cubicles of shops everywhere. I had some money, so I bought some fruits and went back to my room. The day passed slowly as I lay on my bed doing nothing and just thinking about the year ahead when all of a sudden someone knocked on my door. “Hello, my name is Dean. You must be the new student. Nice to meet you…” I thought it was good manners, so I smiled and introduced myself properly.

We sat down and he told me everything about the college and the rules. He didn’t waste time telling me about the seniors and ragging. I was astonished to be introduced into a whole new world of torture! After sometime we went out and had some tea and returned to his room where I met more Nepali boys. My mind strayed away from home as I found company and I enjoyed myself telling them about my home land. The next thing I knew, it was already dinner time. (Where the hell did all the time go?) After a typical Nepali dinner, which consisted of basically rice, dhal and vegetables I returned to my room and started to settle in.

I opened my cupboard and started dusting it when my eyes fell upon a small black book. I took it out and flipped the pages casually. The black ink reminded me of a doctor’s prescription. I switched off the tube light and put on the study lamp at my table as I sat down examining the little black book. It had no name, just the numbers “2000” imprinted upon it in gold writing…I didn’t mean to invade others privacy or anything but out of curiosity, I started reading…

29th January 2000

“….It has been two full days since I got here and still, I can’t help missing my family. The food in the canteen sucks and it reminds me of the half empty dinner plates I left at home. I mean come on, who is willing to spend the rest of their life eating rabbit food? There’s no internet as well and I can’t even use facebook. Jesus, you can’t imagine the BOREDOM!!! Anyway, I’ve made friends, but most of the time they talk in Nepali. I don’t understand anything they say. I sometimes wonder whether they talk about me.

Today some new guys came to the cabin side as the hostel was full. Bishal, Sushan, Krishna and another Bishal. Just like the other Nepali boys, they seemed nice and very friendly. I just sat there listening to them chat and the guy called Bishal, the tall Bishal I mean, asked me whether I was alright. I said I’m always fine and have no problems at all. He wondered why I was keeping so quiet and I told him that I’m from Maldives and I don’t understand their language at all. So he started to talk in English and I thanked him…Otherwise, nothing much..

But, before I jot down the last full stop, let me tell you something. The girls in the class are hot and someone has already caught my attention! See ya. Night…”

The first page gave me feeling that I was going to enjoy reading a seniors diary. There was still time before twelve…so I thought I’ll keep on reading and if it got interesting, maybe reading till sunrise wouldn’t be a waste of sleep…I flipped the page and started reading again…

200 & nine!

Another year, GONE! For all you Harry Potter fans that phrase may sound quiet familiar. Anyway, I apologise for keeping you in the dark, un-entertained. If I’d be searching for an excuse, it’d just be this one word, LIFE.

I never knew that when I took the first step towards something real in my life, I would have to make a lot of sacrifices. I don’t even remember how fast the year went. The only entities that I can re-call in a flash back of the gone year is a lot of tears when I buckled up to start walking towards the light, leaving my family and beloved ones behind…The new friends made, trust and loyalty, determination and disrespect, the countless mistakes and how I picked myself up…The happiness at the end of the year when I finally got a break to meet those who made me miss them so much. But that’s all behind me now. It’s a new year, a new dawn and already I find myself trying to find out as much as I can about myself and the end.

I strayed off my path last year and broke a few promises to heal the some opened wounds. Everyone is selfish. This world is selfish. That’s one thing I learned the hard way. It has always been difficult to expect the truth but honestly speaking, I can’t tell you how much I have changed. I can feel a difference. It’s either me or the world around me.

So in this new chapter of life, I’d like to start off with no promises. I’ll try my best to buy you guys sometime and thanks for coming back and the interest you show. That’s the only fuel that keeps my engines running.